


By Any Other Name

by Ozalina



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, POV Regulus Black, POV Second Person, Regulus has complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozalina/pseuds/Ozalina
Summary: All anyone cares about is Sirius Black. But he’s not even a Black anymore. And yet he still has everything that should be yours: the friends, the personality, the name.Originally written in 2010 for Porn Battle IX (and with very little sex in it)





	By Any Other Name

You want him.

Oh, you don’t at first. At first you’re fine with flashing the Black smile (not quite as charming as your brother’s, is it?) and using the Black charm (not quite as witty and entrancing as Sirius bloody Black, are you?) to get you any girl who’s willing. You laugh and joke about it, and drop a girl as soon as she starts getting clingy.

After all, you’ll end up marrying for status, not love. A second son might not be the heir, but he is still an important commodity. Anything could happen to Sirius before your parents pass away.

And then it happens; Sirius leaves you.

He leaves home, but more importantly, leaves you.

And still people won’t shut up about him. At least, not at school (you never mention his name at home, not unless you feel like dodging knives and picking pieces of china out of your hair.) All anyone cares about is Sirius Black. But he’s not even a Black anymore. He left everything behind, and by rights he shouldn’t have anything. And yet he still has everything that should be yours: the friends, the personality, the name.

Sirius doesn’t seem to care. Not about anything (certainly not about you, but after all, he left you, didn’t he?), except for his friends. And that stupid Lupin boy in particular. You’ve never really noticed him before, and you would probably have continued like that if you hadn’t walked in on the two of them snogging in the Quidditch cupboard.

Sirius comes running after you to ask you not to say anything.

You shrug and say you don’t care what happens between a half-blood and a blood traitor.

You start noticing Lupin more after that. He’s quiet, but sometimes he says things that make you want to laugh. Of course you can’t, because it wouldn’t be good for appearances, but still. You notice the way he moves, graceful power and strength when he holds Potter back when he wants to punch Snape. Most of all, you notice the way Sirius dotes on him. Is obsessed by him. They’re almost always together, Sirius and Lupin. And the amount that Sirius touches him – it’s almost indecent.

You want him.

It’s Lupin you think of when you wank late at night, curtains closed tightly against the other boys. You think of how they looked in the cupboard, hands groping and legs entwined. It could be you, if you take Sirius away. You’re brothers, aren’t you? There’s not that much difference between you. Lupin could want you just as much as he wants Sirius.

-

Nothing happens, though, does it? Because you’re just a pathetic little third year. No one cares about you.

-

And then it happens, in your second week of fourth year.

Snape won’t tell you the details, but you know he knows what happened between your brother and Lupin.

In all honesty, you don’t care what happened. All that matters is that Sirius and Lupin aren’t talking. Sirius keeps moping around the castle with a stupid look on his face, and Lupin can’t even bear to be in the same room as him. He leaves the Great Hall every mealtime as Sirius enters, stalks out of the library every time Sirius pokes his head in the door, and you’ve heard rumours that they sit at opposite ends in every classroom.

One day, you track Lupin down to the corridor outside the Prefect’s Bathroom, and mutter something about Sirius being an idiot.

He smiles at you.

It doesn’t matter that nothing happens that night, because at least you’ve spoken to him. And the two of you can hate Sirius together.

-

Of course, nothing is that simple. Lupin forgives Sirius (like everyone does – like Mother probably will, eventually), but still something isn’t right.

Sirius keeps staring after him whenever Lupin isn’t looking, and they don’t touch each other anymore.

You keep on talking to Lupin, in chance meetings and study sessions.

You tell him you understand.

-

He holds your wrists high above your head, and grinds your hips together. “Is this what you want?” he hisses against your neck. “You want me?”

You nod. This is what you’ve always wanted, it feels like. You try to lean forward to kiss him. That’s what Sirius would do, if he were here. Sirius used to get to kiss Lupin. But now he’s yours, and it’s only right.

But he moves out of the way, and shakes his head impatiently in the flickering candlelight. “No. This either happens my way, or not at all.”

And oh, you want him. You want to have Lupin beneath you, writhing and crying out, you want Lupin marked as yours, you want Sirius to look and see exactly what it is he’s given up. “Anything,” you whisper.

“Keep your hands up there.” Lupin takes you both out and strokes you, twisting and pulling, covering your mouth with his spare hand when you start groaning.

You bite his palm when you come, and try not to hear the name he exhales.


End file.
